Christmas Guilt

Hi internet!

So maybe it's just the fact that I've been reading "I don't know how she does it" by Allison Pearson but I have been suffering from terrible Christmas guilt this year, I feel like I haven't bought good enough presents for my friends and family ( for those I did buy gifts for at all that is) and I feel terrible about all the post cards never sent, no my very old great aunts and uncles don't get a Christmas card from mrs. Scrooge this year - and I feel terrible! - I honestly meant to make these great photoshopped cards with a picture of the family in our finest and the cute little kittens sporting father Christmas hats(photoshopped) in front a huge live Christmas tree decorated perfectly á la Monica Geller (Bing) but no... by the beginning of December I had decided that a live tree wouldn't be happening this year, I would deck the tiny plastic Christmas tree since 1985 or 1986 (when I was one or two years old) like the last few years, still hoping it won't melt from heat from the lights... At that point a cute picture of the kids since Easter was going to suffice. But that didn't happen, by middle of December I was suffering from stress induced "startpanic" (that is you can't get yourself started on a project do to the stress and panic about it) that I kept pushponing it, cause I was so sure it would take AGES to get done, and I would need my Grandmother's computer for that. At the same time I was dreading the sewing of living room curtains ( I had quit halfway through some time back in November after screwing up the length on two of the curtains so I wasn't really up for it anyway) cleaning of house (if anybody knows what CHAOS or SHE stands for they know what I go through) baking for Christmastreegathers at the school of musical arts and the preschool, and needless to say, I was dreading the Christmas presents and cards. So what do I do? - yup I play Sims 3 (somehow making my Sims lives perfect seemed to ease the guilt a bit) I hang out with my 17 year old friend who doesn't have a home or family to take care of (somehow makes me feel young and not think about my responsibilities) and then the classic - smoke a lot (makes me feel good although it does increase the guilt in the money department, since cigarettes cost a lot) ohh and let's not forget the eating of candy - a classic way to ease guilt - Chocolate is the perfect way to forget your worries and feel the beauty in life *ahhhhh* now where was I? ohh yes, unsent Christmas cards. So on December 22nd at 23:25 I sit on the computer, feeling guilty about not sending the 23 christmas cards to USA (for my slapper friends) because - let's face it I can't afford the postage (I am officially flat broke, I do have some change, but my bank account is empty, my husbands account is empty, our savings account is empty and we don't have any money that don't rattle... yup that's how broke I am!) so I didn't get around to sending the ornament for the secret santa thing either, I will make that up to my friend in the new year, I will send her a carepack instead - much better then a single ornament, a bunch of never before seen Icelandic treats :D So let's get back to why I didn't send any postcards to my elderly great aunts and uncles nor to any of my friends let me tell you. I AM LAZY! I AM SO LAZY THAT IF I HAD TO HOLD DOWN SHIFT THE WHOLE TIME TO USE CAPS I WOULD NEVER WRITE THIS IN CAPS!
I'm funny I know...

well I will get back to my partially clean but decorated home and crawl in bed with my son (the cats left strange smells in his room today, I need to investigate tomorrow but not a chance I will do so tonight, see statement on Lazyness) and the two kitten one of whom will probably keep me awake trying to lick the inside of my nose through my nosedrills - let me tell you - it's not a plesent feeling!

Have a very merry and hopefully guilt free Christmas and a happy new year I hope in the new year I will have something interresting to say on here but for now I'll just say Goodnight :D

-Zi