Randomness... and Nostalgic memoriam of a blue car

Hi Internet!

Do you sometimes feel like everything is just so random? Like, you just don't really have a say about anything and you just go with the flow and things happen weather you participate or not?
Lately I feel that way about my life... I feel like I'm just drifting without a course...

I miss my friends around the globe, those who have had an impact on my life in one way or another, they are so many, I've met people that I've bonded with in short period of time before losing contact or whatever with them, only a few of those encounters I still stay in regular contact with, but they all have a special place in my heart recerved for the time we see each other again.

Yes I'm a bit nostalgic right now, it happens LOL.

I think it may be a part of feeling like I lost a dear friend when I sold my old car, I've had it, more or less, since I was 17, it was my first car, my key to the world, a way for me to get from under the constant survaliance of my mother *takes a break to wipe a small butt and put a couple of kids to bed*. It was my independence and freedom on four wheels, and I LOVED it. I remember well the day I moved out of my mothers house, I loaded my car with the essentials, clothing, clothing, make up and hair product, clothing, shoes and ofcourse all the music (cassettes,cd's etc.) along with my stereo system and a few books. And I set off, listening to music on full blast, driving insanely slow due to ice and snow (this was January 2nd 2002 and I'm very very scared of ice and snow driving conditions) and on my way into my own life.
My car was also filled with memories of my dear departed friend Sigrún, she was one of my favorite people ever, one of my closest and best friends, we used to practically live in my car, back in the day... ohh how I miss those days, and how I miss her... in a way I felt like I was saying goodbye to her all over again, when I drove the last drive with my old car, I looked at the empty passenger seat and saw her beautiful smile as she used to sing along with whatever crazy music playing at the time, at the top of her lungs and then point out the window and exclaim something about some gorgous guy driving another car... I also remembered our Christmas eve smoke cruises, how we got togeather after the holyday feast and package opening and while everyone else enjoyed a peaceful evening with their family and friends we shared a few moments together, exchanging christmas presents and talking and being friends, best of friends. I miss her so...

- Zion