New blog

Since I didn't want to change this one I decided to make a new blog for my lymphoma ramblings and foul mouth, ZionVald.blogspot.com enjoy

Dear Internet,

I can't believe I am starting this nonesense up again, but I need somewhere to express my fears - because I'm very scared... I got some bad news yesterday, that I might have lymphoma, which is a type of cancer, well, the doctor is pretty sure I have Lymphoma, he just doesn't know what kind or what stage, I waited all day for a phonecall and will probably wait tomorrow as well, then probably there will be no phonecall during the weekend but I expect I might get the call on monday...  that call will be the doctor telling me to come in for some biopsy or whatever it is called... then after they look at that they might know more... until then I don't know what any of this means...
I'm so scared that it's the most severe of all lymphoma and on final stage, I'm pretty sure of it, but I can't help it... I of course hope for the least serious verdict but I can't help, I always expect the worse...
right now I feel mostly just numb, numbness that I expect a panic attack to follow, but it doesn't seem to be coming... I don't know why... - I just want to be held, I want to be small and insignificant in someone else's arms, someone strong preferably... someone who can "protect me" - but I know this is just silly... one should never even think such things out loud... I just don't want to be alone... I'm so damn lonely...

well screw this, I was going to watch something on youtube but my computer has decided that everything I want to watch should be played 5xspeed it's supposed to be so I'm just going to go to sleep and hope to just not have to wake up until I can know something...

Is it too much to ask for a computer who doesn't say fuck you the moment I need it? for friends that don't say fuck you the moment you need them and a mother that gives a shit? - is it???

Well, fuck this shit, I'm going to sleep..
-Zion

Helllooooo (echoes through an empty thread)

So internet, how are things? not much going on is there?

I just wanted to blog about my obsession, Vampire the Requiem! - I love it, I love this game, and I could spend my whole life imagining myself to be a vampire within the world of VtR... - especially Glasgow, created by my friend Magga, her version of Glasgow is much gloomier and dangerous then the real thing, not that I will share any details here seeing as it's her place and her creation...

but I just wanted to rant on and on about how I love my characters, seeing them form and start to become real to me. My first character Scarlet was a real success, she became in fact so awesome that I can hardly play her anymore, seeing as she's just too powerful... no challange left really... - so I decided to make a new character, well she decided to embrace her ghoul - which makes for a very nifty character plot, see, he's been in her service for over ten years, he's addicted to vitae and completely bound to her by blood, which makes it very difficult for him to function in the invictus ruled society of Glasgow, he's also a very sexual creature, and very open minded when it comes to choosing a partner for that act (basically anything that is old enough and human enough) he's gorgeous and tall and he's a hairdresser/make up artist, and in 1956 he's a rockabillygod, as I get into his character I love him more and more... I mean, sure I miss playing Scarlet she's such an awesome vampire, but he is growing on me, I'm really starting to become alive within me, becoming a part of who I am, and becoming a sort of entity like Scarlet is in my head.... - which makes it even more fun :D - I have a mission impossible ongoing for him now, he's trying to bed the palladin of Lancea Sanctum, not likely to happen but he's really really going to succeed :) - well enough ranting about him, I will now continue cooking, spaghetti with red sauce, coming up :D

Day by Day

Dear Colleen and none commenting Kata

Today put rolls in a dollhead... nothing new... I did it in good time, and I did it well, then I tied a hairnet around the perfection, got myself a big standing hairdryer thingie, and turned it on for 30 minutes... a little over 20 minutes later I walked to my mannequin to see if her hair was completely dry, and it wasn't... so I looked around what was going on with the dryer and then I saw it...the output was lying there not plugged in - I will teased the rest of the year - it's a good thing my costumer didn't have any brains, she's just made of plastic so she doesn't have any problems with patience, a living breathing costumer would have been a different story... LOL

Well, I finished last, with my fudgeup and in a hurry I did her hair, I back combed it fast and fixed it faster but the overall resault was quite good :) if I may say so myself ;) LOL

on to other things, my mother in law is still alive, she's still very sick and getting sicker, currently she's just being evaluated if she's doing well enough to be at home during her last days/weeks or if she needs to be in the hospital... Gummi isn't coping to well, his mood is darker then ever but who can blame him...

and as for other news, Ragnar has started bringing home homework, and my workload has gotten a bit over the top in my humble opinion... with basketball practices (Ragnar) gym sessions (me) overload of work (Gummi) and genereal fuzzyness (Kapitola) and not to mention the hateful mountain of laundry that always makes my life a living hell...

and to top it all of I am having weird dreams all nights and they are making me quite tired... life does suck quite a lot...

Hairwash, scalp massage and deep mosturizer :)

Hi Colleen (and anyone else who might stumble in here LOL )

Nothing beats studying hair design :) it's so much fun, and in what other class would you be able to wash your friend's hair, have your hair wash and play hairdresser for hours with your friends :) LOL


As for hairstyles, I just watched Jerseylicious this morning and man is that show brilliant or what, we have New Jersey (see former post about NJ obsession) and hairdesigners, and make up artists and drama!!! I mean, how can it get any better then that?!? yes there are hot men, and yes there is mindless ramblings and not to mention fights :) it's PERFECT! everything a trashy reality tv show should be with Jersey and Hairstylists!!! - ;D

Just wanted to give way to my mindless ramblings....

Well, I will let this do for now...

Sadness...

Hi Internet...

I guess things aren't great with me right now... I am saddened by the looming death of someone very close to me...

My Mother in law has suffered from cancer for over four years, it was discovered early in 2006. it started out in her uterus but it had spread before it was discovered so it wasn't removable, for the past four years she's been in near constant pain and had to go through terrible chemo therapies over and over, the doctors have said that now her time is almost up, she has only a few days to complete all the things in life she wanted to accomplish. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through... and my father in law, the poor man, how he must suffer in watching his wife of almost 26 years go through this slow and painful death... but most of all, I'm hurting for my husband, the love of my life, and his siblings who are loosing their mother, and my children loosing their grandmother... I can't believe this is happening... she has always been such a lively wonderful person...
I remember when Gummi and I had first started being togeather, I had pretty much moved in and spent nearly every night in his bed, the first time I spent the night her only objection to it was that he hadn't changed the sheets, I've always felt welcome into her life, and I've had the privilege of always feeling loved by her. She's a great woman, I do hope she'll recover but I'm afraid that's not possible :(
-love Zi...

Ragnar lost his first tooth!

Hi world!
At last it happened, his first tooth fell out, he's super exited about the toothfairy and the only problem is that this toothfairy is new to the biz and doesn't know the going rate of so much as one tooth... which is bad... I'm thinking a gold coin (100 isk, about 1$) will suffice but maybe since there isn't much to do with one of those, his friends are getting paper money, see in my opinion, toothfairies should give a coin per tooth, but, the going rate of materialistic thinking in Iceland is getting redicilous so I really do think there might be need to go with the flow so the kid doesn't feel left out....

Well on to other things... School has started and my arms, legs, knees and back are killing me! - how can a person be so tired from rolling up curlers on mannequins and blowdrying half a head? seriously! - it is sooo exhausting, I hope it will pass soon, it's just normal starting pains, that's normal with all things you haven't done before...

Ragnar has started school, he goes home with his friend who lives a few houses away (I can actually see his house from my kitchen window - handy!) every day and plays with him for a couple of hours, they had been seperated for a year because the other boy moved to Reykjavík for a year so they hadn't been in the same pre-school the last year. but when reunited, those two stuck together like a sammie with pb&j! he still hasn't gotten any homework but that will start soon :)

As to Kapitola she's as cute as a button (as per usual) and she's doing great with Pre-school :) today when I picked her up she needed to hug her friend goodbye - so sweet :)